dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
