How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
