I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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