But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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