i jhust puked up my retainher.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
