things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just had sex on a roof
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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