I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We left the knife in your bed.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
