You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
