I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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