Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
