I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
