I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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