I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Everything about him screamed your future.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
