i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
