I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
