Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
