Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
