dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
