Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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