i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
