My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
