Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
