I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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