Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
