i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
