Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I see more hoeing in ur future
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
