A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
