So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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