69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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