Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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