my room smells like sperm. sweet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
