and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize