4 words: hood of his car
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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