walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
