We named our party play list daddy issues
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize