Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
