I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Sorry about my life...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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