Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I will pee on everything he values.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
