I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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