Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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