He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize