Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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