i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize