She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
