still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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