Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
