Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
