you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize