I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My dick has a subreddit
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
