Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
