Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
home. puking in laundry basket.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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