some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
