she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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