Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
