When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
