DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
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I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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