k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
