i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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