i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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