we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
