i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
