Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
