We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
