Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
