Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
