If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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