That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
