We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Even my vagina gasped.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
