She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
People in love make me want to vomit
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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