If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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