She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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