the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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