he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
