Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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