just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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