Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
