do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize