Capitaan dildo arrescate!
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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