The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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