Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
