those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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